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| Let the odds be ever in your favor. |
Our first trailer today is for the kids film The Smurfs 2, which is supposed to be the second installment in a Smurfs trilogy. To quote Hugh Jackman in Les Miserables, "What have I done, sweet Jesus, what have I done?" This just shows that movie studios don't really care if the general population enjoyed a movie--it made money so let's do it again! And again! And again...and again and again and again. Now personally I haven't seen the previous Smurfs film, nor have I really seen much of the old 80's TV show, but from what I hear, The Smurfs movie from 2011 is one of the most dreadful things ever put to screen for family audiences, ruining the nostalgia and lowering kids' brain cells: like Disney Channel, only worse. In this new installment, the Smurfs and Neil Patrick Harris have to save Smurfette from becoming one of Gargamel's anti-Smurfs, the Naughties, and somehow she's the only one who can make the Naughties blue... what is this? What am I doing talking about this? It's innocent, but stupid. Stupid stupid stupid. Even the trailer. Don't waste your money watching the movie, just watch the trailer, because the trailer explains everything--the entire movie, or at least the "important" bits. I'll tell you exactly what will happen: Gargamel creates the Naughties, comes up with the evil plan on his iPad Mini to make Smurfette a bad Smurf, and after 75 minutes of painful footage and a terrible script, Gargamel will be stopped, falling from a great height or shot out of something-or-other and the Naughties will be accepted by the Smurfs as Papa Smurf says, "It doesn't matter where you came from. What matters is who you choose to be." And they sing their happy Smurf song. The end. There: you don't have to sit through a poorly edited (honestly, the rough cut of the film I'm working on looks better than this), poorly CGI'd piece of junk, you don't have to sit through 90 minutes of a screenplay that somehow someway took five people to write. FIVE PEOPLE!!! I only took one person to write the screenplay for The Shawshank Redemption and it takes FIVE PEOPLE to write an awful movie. Not to mention that I'm very positive that they use the same CG models from the last movie for Azrael the Cat. This is just a lazy cashgrab, and Raja Gosnell is laughing all the way to the bank as he destroys yet another classic TV show in the eyes of its fanbase. I hope you're smurfing happy, you smurf! This trailer and the entire concept for this movie FISHTAILS beyond control. I may just see it so I can feel better about putting Star Wars Episode II towards the number 1 spot of my top ten worst films ever seen. Did I say that this movie's going to suck? Oh, well, in that case, "this movie's going to suck."
Reportedly, this trailer for Catching Fire brought down the house at Comic-Con this past week, and that's understandably so. While The Hunger Games failed to please everybody, many citing differences from the novel and the heavy use of shaky-cam, I think this one's going to be different, joining the leagues of Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows--Part 2 as one of the best book-to-film adaptations in the young adult subcategory. In this movie, Katniss Everdeen, instead of facing off against fellow children, now faces off against select past winners from the last seventy-five years of the Hunger Games, in an effort lead by Philip Seymour Hoffman and Donald Sutherland to "eradicate" her and the other winners after Katniss and Peeta begin a revolution following the 74th Hunger Games. If I botched half of that, it's because that's all I know from the trailer. I haven't read the books (though I own them) nor have I seen the previous movie (which is on Netflix last I checked), but this movie looks really good. I was more excited after seeing the teaser trailer than I was this one, but the second trailer is still STURDY. Hopefully the odds are ever in its favor.
Google gets its own movie (The Internship), now Apple wants in, although less comically. Jobs is a biopic about the legendary Steve Jobs, who not only created one of the most well-loved computer companies and sparked the genesis of computer engineering, but was actually one of Pixar's founding fathers. Starring Ashton Kutcher, this film looks like the next Social Network, detailing the life of a man behind a technological phenomenon. It also reminds me faintly of Argo, but probably because both are set in the '70s and they both have pretty good trailers. I don't watch Two and a Half Men, so I'm not familiar with Kutcher's acting caliber, but I'm excited to see him portray Steve Jobs, and I hope they delve into the genesis of Pixar as we know it today (that is, if Disney's going to let them). The trailer probably gives away a bit much, but I think that this kind of film can get away with that. As with Zero Dark Thirty, we practically know what major events will happen, but we don't know some of the inside coverage that both films will share. Zero Dark Thirty talked about the tediousness of finding bin Laden; this will talk about the drama of being the father of the technological revolution. While the reviews aren't hot (critics are split dramatically), and the director hasn't had a critical hit yet, I still think that this trailer is STURDY, and looks like "Oscar bait." That said, anything can happen.
What about you? Which trailer did you prefer? Honestly, I thought Catching Fire was the headliner here, but we may share different opinions. It's America; we're about free speech here. Comment below! And if you find a trailer that I should review next week, let me know in the comments. Until then....
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