Well, folks, it's official: Jaws at Universal Studios Orlando has been demolished. Amity Village is no more to the tourists who want to face a shark with adorably cheesy skippers.
Jaws and its themed land has gone the way of the dodo... and Back to the Future: The Ride, Kongfrontation, Earthquake: The Big One, and The Funtastic World of Hanna Barbara. It seems like now all of the original attractions are closed down. The oldest attraction left is T2: Battle Across Time, and that's starting to show its age, but man, I love that show, and it would be an absolute shame to demolish that. Also, E.T. Adventure, but that ride, well, you've got to love it. It's so original, and my favorite family dark ride. Disney doesn't make it believable; I can't believe talking fish, but I can believe that I'm flying over NYC 15 feet above them, that strange looking aliens are glad that we somehow saved them from certain doom, and that I'm about to be hit by a semi-truck. Thank God Spielberg has protected this ride from destruction. I could only imagine Barney 4D, or PBS Kids: The Ride.
Anyways, Jaws wasn't the most exhilarating ride, it wasn't the scariest, and it wasn't the best acted. It was cheesy. You knew the shark wouldn't eat you. You knew it was a robot. You knew that next time you went on, everything would act the same, and the fire would stop before you crossed it. But it still had the Spielberg charm from the first film (we don't talk about the sequels here). I would ride the ride again; I was immersed into the film with other people; that was Universal's mission from the beginning! But now instead of "Rid[ing] the Movies!" we "Jump Into the Action." Since Jaws wasn't as exciting as Disaster! or RipRideRockit! or The Simpsons Ride, it must be closed. Forget riding the movies, we need action. We may be a partial movie studio, but people come and spend money, but we need to do better than Disney, and this, that, and the other.
Marketing schemes can be a pain in the keister, but I don't think that's what bugs me most about the departure. I think it's its replacement.
Amity Harbor is shut down forever, the Jaws pool is drained, and the remains of the ride go who-knows-where. So something "state-of-the-art" must be replacing it. Well, if "s-o-t-a" is something that brings the tweenies in, I guess you're right. And we ain't talking about The Hunger Games, people. No, we're talking about...
Harry Potter Part Two
That's right, folks, a classic attraction based off a classic movie has been slewed by adolescent wizards in their second incarnation at Universal Studios Resort. That's right: Numero Dos! Allegedly, leaked plans by Theme Park Insider show that Amity will be replaced by a recreation of Diagon Alley from the popular series, including a unique attraction that drives you through Gringotts Bank ending with a possible final battle with Governor Voldemort.
So, let's analyze this for a moment. Should we keep an attraction that guests love (don't we all love almost getting eaten by a robot shark? Me!) and cherish, or replace it with another Harry Potter land because that's what teenyboppers want and we need more money? Universal seems to have chosen the latter; I choose the former. But that's just it: former. Everything Universal started with is former: Back to the Future was formerly a money-grabber; Alfred Hitchcock and the magic of movies was formerly what folks wanted to see; Terminator was formerly a good franchise. I'm all for updating, but guests' favorites come before. Kongfrontatation still lives on somewhat at Universal Hollywood, but I don't feel like going to the West Coast, and neither do people want to see a 4-D showdown shot by Peter Jackson (unless you like that kind of thing).
I love the Harry Potter series overall as much as the next guy and I have the full movie/book series. But The Wizarding World was enough. I don't need an expansion that's supposed to connect the two (which I feel is going to cost so many ticket frenzies-- either raising our price or leads to some empty-handed stealing). Just get rid of the Lost Continent at Islands of Adventure; Potter wiped out the signature attractions, just finished what you began. While Harry Potter is a money-grabber, it won't always be with Dickens and Twain; it's going to fall soon, and it's a shame that Universal is using so much Warner Bros. property.
But that's my case. Leave your opinions in the comments below.
R.I.P. Opening Era: 1990-2012
